Internal Randomness
by halothair
Summary: Some minds have a clear story in mind while writing. Other minds simply jot down whatever sh*t happens to pass through their brain. Guess which one this is. Basically, this is just a series of short stories with no correlation, featuring any ideas that pop into my head that will most likely never actually become real stories. Nothing is owned by me.
It was a normal day in Ponyville.

Rarity was just putting the finishing touches on her dress when she heard a knock at the door. "Just a second!" she called out. There was a big order for twenty dresses that month, and numbers one through twelve were coming along nicely. She finished her thirteenth design, put her needle down, and quickly trotted to the door. She opened it and made her usual greeting:

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chique, unique, and-"

She cut herself off as she realized what she was looking at.

Pinkie Pie was standing right in front of her door, her hair straightened and her face contorted into a look of pure insanity. On that face, blood could clearly be seen in various specks. But all that was nothing compared to her attire; a series of different ponies' cutie marks, torn off their bodies and sewn together into a mismatched amalgamation.

What happened next would change everything.

"Rarity..." Pinkamena drawled as she reached behind her and pulled out a single, bloody knife.

"Your number's just come up!"

"That's nice, darling."

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"What?"

As a direct opposite to Miss Pinkamena, Rarity was in perfect condition. Wavy hair, a bright smile...in fact she seemed not at all concerned about the sight in front of her. She walked inside and called to her friend, "Well, don't just stand there, Pinkie, I did know you were coming after all."

Pinkamena's face contorted into a confused one. She looked around to see if this was some sort of prank. Seeing nopony, she asked "Y-you did?"

"Why, of course!" Rarity said as she continued smiling. "What sort of friend would I be if I didn't prepare to have each and every one of my friends come over and visit?"

"Visit?" Now she was really confused. She had come over to claim Rarity as another trophy, and she was happy about it?

"Yes indeed." Rarity sat down on her couch and looked expectantly at her friend. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Pinkamena was, at this time, a little bit frustrated. "I- I already told you, your number's come up!"

"Pinkie," Rarity began, "you did already mention that, but I'm afraid I can't today."

"You can't toda- it's not a choice you can make!"

"But I have a massive shipment due in a week, and I can't take any time off to take part in your silly games."

Now she was really upset. Pinkamena stood up and yelled, "GAMES!? DO I LOOK LIKE I'M PLAYING AROUND HERE?"

"Pinkie-"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I"M HERE? DO YOU GET THROUGH THAT TINY BRAIN OF YOURS THAT I WANT TO KILL YOU?"

"Well, you see-"

Pinkamena shoved the knife in front of Rarity's face. "THIS IS A REAL KNIFE! THIS HAS BEEN USED TO MURDER PONIES! I KILLED DIAMOND TIARA! I KILLED GILDA! JUST A FEW HOURS AGO, I! KILLED! BUCKING! RAINBOW DASH! AND NOW I"M HERE TO KILL YOU! AND I CAN"T EVEN-"

"PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!"

That shout was just loud enough to be heard from all across Ponyville, and startle a certain flower-related trio. Once it stopped reverberating across town, Pinkamena stopped in shock at her victim's outburst. She then muttered, "Yeah, Rarity?"

Rarity took a deep breath and quickly explained to her pink friend that not only was her whole "killing ponies" thing a hallucination from too much sugar, and that cutie marks would leave the body once dead, but that nopony was actually dead, especially not Rainbow Dash who had visited only a few hours before. Once she finished, they were both left sitting there in silence.

"Huh." stated Pinkie. She blinked a few times, and looked at her knife, then at Rarity, then her not-covered-in-the-cutie-marks-of-the-dead-body, then at Rarity again, and then she smiled awkwardly and said in her meekest voice possible, "Um, I'm just gonna-let me-I can explain my-I have to go."

Once Pinkie had walked back to Sugarcube Corner, clearly trying to avoid the eyes of anypony, Rarity closed her door and went back to her work.

"Hey, Rarity?"

Rarity turned and looked at her sister, Sweetie Belle. Already exasperated at the previous encounter, she sighed and turned back to her work, grumbling, "Not now Sweetie. I'm very busy at the moment."

"Okay, yeah, but what in the wide world of Equestria was that noise earlier?" inquired Sweetie. "It kinda sounded like a bomb going off."

Rarity closed her eyes and groaned. "Well, Sweetie, that was me. Pinkie Pie visited me earlier today with another attempt to get me...'cupcaked'."

Sweetie's eyes widened. "Again? But that's, like, the seventh time that's happened! Shouldn't you do something about that?"

"Nonsense! She'll get over it. And if it does continue, I'll inform Princess Celestia, she'll get thrown in a dungeon, be cured of her obvious mania...you know, just like last time."

'Oh, yeah. I remember that." Sweetie smiled and laughed, "That was quite the adventure. I just hope we never have to see that camel again."

Rarity tut-tutted and remarked, "Don't be racist, Sweetie. Now, have a good day at school!"

"I will! Bye!" Sweetie ran off to join her friends, and Rarity went back to her fourteenth dress.

Just before she did, she thought to herself:

 _I swear, if I hear one more word about those stupid 'Cupcakes' again, I am going to_ murder _somepony._

It was a normal day in Ponyville.


End file.
